Hedge Maze
by Pink Anon
Summary: In which Bass and Roll go into a hedge maze and no one is amused, particularly not the hedges. Prompt response, oneshot, light Bassroll. Rated mostly for language.


**a/n: **this is stupid.

this was a daily writing adventure inspired by an imagineyourotp prompt. the prompt was pretty ridiculously fluffy and involved "falling asleep in each other's arms." i... veered off midway through because reasons. also fun fact: the original draft was entitled "i'm still listening to airman ga taosenai" because i wrote this entire fic listening to airman ga taosenai. ultimate romance song yes.

* * *

"This is _stupid_."

Oh boy. Roll turns on her heel, stopping just short of the sign for the autumn festival hedge maze. "Why do you say that?"

Bass crosses his arms and leers at the field. "You just walk in and get lost in these bushes and then get out? Sounds like something humans would do."

She takes a deep breath, forcing herself to choose her words carefully. "Well, I could always go in alone," she says, raising her hands passively. "It's not like we have to do this. I really think it sounds like fun, and it requires a fair amount of focus and brain power…"

"That's Blues's thing." Bass scowls. "He likes old man things like that. You said we were going to do something fun. This isn't fun, this is stupid."

"You used to say kissing was stupid," Roll retorts.

"Y-Yeah, well, that's _different_."

"Different how?"

"…I'd never actually tried it."

"And you've never tried this, either." Roll grabs his hand and tugs on his arm. "Now come oooon, it'll be fun! And if it's not…"

"If it's not," Bass says, "I get to choose where we go next."

That doesn't seem like a fun bargain. Last time he chose, he ended up deciding to take her to a gun range and shot things out of the air while she sat in the shade and tried not to let the sounds of gunfire scare her. So, with a smile, she leads him into the hedge maze and hopes that he'll find it entertaining.

—

"This is _stupid_."

It's been almost an hour and they aren't any closer to finding the exit. Roll's starting to worry they won't find a way out. Her feet are hurting. The hedges are too high for her to see over, even if Bass were to lift her onto his shoulders. This wasn't a good idea.

"I told you it would be," Bass says, a snide grin on his face. "Only good thing about it is that there's no one around to watch us, and they wouldn't find us easily…"

"I don't even want to know where your mind is."

"Actually, it's on uprooting these hedges and tearing our way out."

"I think they'd kick us out."

"…What's to lose?"

"Bass."

"It's just a bunch of plants."

"_Bass_."

"They can grow back!"

"_Bass_!"

"Oh come on." He leans in towards her, chuckling just a bit. "It's not like I'm hurting people. I won't even draw my buster."

She puffs out her cheeks and pushes his face away from hers. "I'd rather you call Treble and get us out of here."

"And here I thought you hated flying."

"I do!"

"Guess we can give the festival a good view up your skirt. Tre—"

"Don't actually call Treble."

"But you said—"

"I didn't mean it!" She crosses her arms. "Gosh, you're impossible."

"I could say the same thing."

"What?!"

He raises his hands. "Just saying, this was your idea. Gonna let you call the shots on how we get out of this." The grin on his face is shit-eating.

Almost as if—

Almost as if he's enjoying her frustration.

She kicks him in the shin (it's ineffective, but it makes her feel good) and storms off deeper into the maze. Bass swears and trails after her, not entirely sure if he should be laughing or not at this point.

—

Bass's delight at seeing his girlfriend frustrated doesn't quite last long, because as soon as another half-hour passes, whatever novelty the place had has long since passed its time. And Roll's presence has gone from enjoyable to irritating— her temper flares and with it, his compulsion to destroy things.

Finally, he can't stand it.

"Fuck this."

"_Bass_!"

"No. I'm fucking done!" And with that, his hand retracts into his arm and his buster appears in its stead. "Stand back, I'm getting us out of here!"

"But you could _hurt_ people—"

"Good!"

"Bass!"

She jumps to stop him, but he's firing the shots before she can even move. He's also twice her size, and a robot designed for flight at that. He catches her with ease and tucks her under his arm like a sack of potatoes. Needless to say, it's an undignified carry, and Roll is unamused.

The hedges smolder and wither from the contact with Bass's plasma cannon, but they don't quite catch fire. They do, however, send up huge jets of smoke and start a fair amount of panic among the fair-goers. Roll assumes someone is calling the fire department, or the cops, or Mega Man, or all three.

Perfect.

Unfortunately, Mega Man is not in the vicinity, but a certain bespectacled robot is. And he takes this as an opportunity to elbow Bass in the side of the head. The warbot staggers back and drops Roll in his disorientation. Roll lands hard on her hands and knees and takes a moment to recover.

The interloper is not phased. "You," Blues says, crossing his arms, "are an idiot."

To add insult to injury, they had only been a few hedges over from the exit in the first place. Roll stands up and dusts herself off, glaring at Bass indignantly. "Calling Treble would have been a better idea. Instead you have to raise a fuss like this."

"You overestimate Bass's processing power," Blues interjects.

"Shut your trap, geezer!" Bass snaps.

Blues raises a brow, keeping his focus on Roll. "I still firmly mandate that you can, should, and need to do better than a machine whose only purpose in life is to slaughter everything that dares to challenge his limited mental capabilities."

Roll puffs out her cheeks. "No one asked for your input, Blues."

"No one ever does," Blues laments, "and you all suffer for it. I don't know why I bother some days, frankly…" The sound of sirens can be heard in the distance. "…You should get going. And no, I don't mean shoot your way out, Bass. I know what that look on your face means. Do you have a shred of common sense?"

"I was thinking about shooting you—"

"An equally stupid idea." Blues smirks and slips out of the hole in the hedge. "Unlike my siblings, I have no sentimental attachment to you. Remember that, Bass." And with that, Blues was gone.

Bass grinds his teeth. "Asshole."

Roll's programmed to be somewhat polite, so she withholds her verbal opinion. Instead, she places her hand on Bass's arm to show her support. He glances down at her and the glare on his face softens to a neutral stare. It's perhaps the closest he can get to a genuine smile, and she takes it happily.

The sirens grow closer. "We should get out here," Bass says, then grabs Roll's hand. "Gonna teleport out of here. Hold tight."

She squeezes his hand. They're gone before the authorities arrive.

—

Bass drops Roll off outside of Light's lab. As they stand outside the front gate, Bass crosses his arms and gives his final thoughts for the day: "That was_ stupid_."

"Yeah."

"Let's_ never _do that again."

"Never ever."

"And you still owe me something fun."

"…Anywhere but the gun range."

She expects him to scoff, but without even an argument he says, "Deal."

And with that, he kisses her good night and teleports off before she can get a word in edgewise.

All in all, she admits as she heads inside, today was stupid.


End file.
